Empowering Small Voices - The Role of the Child in Family Dispute Resolution
All PostsAs a father of three children, I have become accustom to little voices trying to be heard in a world that seems much too large for them. Children are unique, they grow quickly, slowly, they speak their minds and they form unique opinions about the world around them. This poses the question: Should children be afforded a voice when family dispute resolution processes are being used to resolve parental disputes?
To put it simply, yes. Children should be given a voice. In fact, it is arguably imperative for the health of the familial relationship that the opinion of the child in addition to the parents and caregivers involved is considered, so long as it is safe to do so. Let me explain
From a legal standpoint, the Voice of the Child has been encapsulated in Article 12 of the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Children (UNCRC) which states that, amongst other things, state parties will assure that a child who is capable of forming his or her views has a right to express those views on all matters affecting that child, and that those views will be given weight in accordance with that child’s age and maturity. The UNCRC was ratified by New Zealand on 6 April 1989 and appointments of a lawyer for the child are common in parenting disputes. More recently, the New Zealand Family Dispute Resolution process has introduced provision for the Voice of the Child. This can involve interviewing the child separately and communicating their thoughts back to the parents, having a Child Inclusion Specialist represent the child’s voice in the process or simply encouraging the parents to think about the opinions and impact of the situation on the child. It is uncommon, and often inappropriate, for children to be present at and directly involved FDR mediations due to the emotions involved and topics discussed. Inclusion of the Voice of the Child is voluntary, although heavily encouraged, and requires the consent of all parents and guardians of the child.
The Voice of the Child mechanism within Family Dispute Resolution is one of the few mechanisms that allows little voices to be heard. Qualitative research in New Zealand has demonstrated that children who were afforded the opportunity to be meaningfully involved in the dispute resolution process “were more relaxed and had adapted significantly better to the situation after having been given the opportunity to have a ‘voice’ and having been listened to by their parents.” [1] Disputing parties often become caught up in the issue and become blind to the possibility that their child or children may be affected by or have an opinion about their situation. The benefits resulting from inclusion of the Voice of the Child in the dispute resolution process are multifaceted: on one hand, children have the opportunity to feel empowered, included, listened to, heard, respected and validated, and on the other, parents are enlightened as to both the impact of their behaviour on their child and to the need for harmonious parenting. For some, this may be the first time that they view their child as a person with independent thoughts and feelings. Children often hold different perspectives and view situations differently from their parents yet for fear of disappointing their parent they express the opinion that they think that parent wants to hear as opposed to their own. Although the issues and the outcome are ultimately the parent’s decisions, this process allows children to feel empowered, involved and far less helpless about a situation that they know they are affected by but have no control over.
Like anything in life, the inclusion of the Voice of the Child is not without risk. Family violence and parental coaching, for example, can impact a child’s ability to offer a genuine and unbiased opinion about an issue their family is facing. Children are not mediation weapons or tools, and they should not be treated as such. This does not mean that the voice of the child should be excluded, instead, mediators and representatives for the child must tread carefully and ensure that all affected parties feel and are safe before the mediation proceeds and any opinion of the child is offered.
Ultimately, the Voice of the Child is a mechanism that allows children to be treated like people. An like all people, children want to have their voices heard in a situation that at the stage of mediation is negatively affecting them.
[1] Jill Goldson “Hello, I’m a Voice, Let Me Talk: Child-inclusive Mediation in Family Separation ”
As a father of three children, I have become accustom to little voices trying to be heard in a world that seems much too large for them. Children are unique, they grow quickly, slowly, they speak their minds and they form unique opinions about the world around them. This poses the question: Should children be afforded a voice when family dispute resolution processes are being used to resolve parental disputes?
To put it simply, yes. Children should be given a voice. In fact, it is arguably imperative for the health of the familial relationship that the opinion of the child in addition to the parents and caregivers involved is considered, so long as it is safe to do so. Let me explain
From a legal standpoint, the Voice of the Child has been encapsulated in Article 12 of the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Children (UNCRC) which states that, amongst other things, state parties will assure that a child who is capable of forming his or her views has a right to express those views on all matters affecting that child, and that those views will be given weight in accordance with that child’s age and maturity. The UNCRC was ratified by New Zealand on 6 April 1989 and appointments of a lawyer for the child are common in parenting disputes. More recently, the New Zealand Family Dispute Resolution process has introduced provision for the Voice of the Child. This can involve interviewing the child separately and communicating their thoughts back to the parents, having a Child Inclusion Specialist represent the child’s voice in the process or simply encouraging the parents to think about the opinions and impact of the situation on the child. It is uncommon, and often inappropriate, for children to be present at and directly involved FDR mediations due to the emotions involved and topics discussed. Inclusion of the Voice of the Child is voluntary, although heavily encouraged, and requires the consent of all parents and guardians of the child.
The Voice of the Child mechanism within Family Dispute Resolution is one of the few mechanisms that allows little voices to be heard. Qualitative research in New Zealand has demonstrated that children who were afforded the opportunity to be meaningfully involved in the dispute resolution process “were more relaxed and had adapted significantly better to the situation after having been given the opportunity to have a ‘voice’ and having been listened to by their parents.” [1] Disputing parties often become caught up in the issue and become blind to the possibility that their child or children may be affected by or have an opinion about their situation. The benefits resulting from inclusion of the Voice of the Child in the dispute resolution process are multifaceted: on one hand, children have the opportunity to feel empowered, included, listened to, heard, respected and validated, and on the other, parents are enlightened as to both the impact of their behaviour on their child and to the need for harmonious parenting. For some, this may be the first time that they view their child as a person with independent thoughts and feelings. Children often hold different perspectives and view situations differently from their parents yet for fear of disappointing their parent they express the opinion that they think that parent wants to hear as opposed to their own. Although the issues and the outcome are ultimately the parent’s decisions, this process allows children to feel empowered, involved and far less helpless about a situation that they know they are affected by but have no control over.
Like anything in life, the inclusion of the Voice of the Child is not without risk. Family violence and parental coaching, for example, can impact a child’s ability to offer a genuine and unbiased opinion about an issue their family is facing. Children are not mediation weapons or tools, and they should not be treated as such. This does not mean that the voice of the child should be excluded, instead, mediators and representatives for the child must tread carefully and ensure that all affected parties feel and are safe before the mediation proceeds and any opinion of the child is offered.
Ultimately, the Voice of the Child is a mechanism that allows children to be treated like people. An like all people, children want to have their voices heard in a situation that at the stage of mediation is negatively affecting them.
[1] Jill Goldson “Hello, I’m a Voice, Let Me Talk: Child-inclusive Mediation in Family Separation ”